Ab Homocene Condita

Or, The Ideal* Calendar*

(In The Year Since The Founding Of The Mans Era / Uel Idealum* et Calendrum*)

This page last updated: the Fifteenth Day Before the Kalends of Quintilis, 12763 (1 July +2009)

Stipulations:

The calendar starts on the Twelfth Day Before the Kalends of Maius, 10000. This does not change the ordering of the months, just adds an odd uptick date.
The date follows the Julian calendar. To constrain its power, you see.
You have to say stuff like "the twelfth day before the kalends of maius", because that sounds funny.

Pros:

Hopefully annoys both regular people and Holocene Era people
Depending on definition, about as possible a start date for the human era as 00753 (-10000)
Has a year zero
The religion it's peskily attached to isn't a major world religion

Cons:

More inaccurate than the Gregorian, Julian, or Holocene- Josh Carpenter was probably born with an uncertainty between years -5 and +4 (10748 to 10757), while the uncertainty in the founding of Rome is between years -813 and -728 (09939 and 10026)
Follows the Julian calendar

Bet on Roman successor states here.